I thought my time was up.
No really.
I considered [if only for a moment] hanging up my pageant 2 piece swimsuit, and clear heels. I knew back in 2008 that my time would be limited, I am getting older, and might want to expand my family. However, after a bit of down time, and rest, I have realized the passion and commitment is STILL there. I still LOVE training for shows.
My ultimate goal remains of making it to the Olympia. I was so close last year, and to try to have that mental focus and compete that much this year was too much. I was willing to do the last show of the year, but my body was not willing.
Your body will let you know when it is or is not ready.
My family had put me first all year, and well, to ask of them one more show was going to tip the family/work balance. So this year my focus is about having a great performance, a great prep and let the cards fall where they may. Sometimes I focus so much on the outcome, or what could come of the outcome, that I get lost for the time that I am prepping, and am not fully engaged in my day to day. I don’t enjoy that part of the process, so I am trying to change my perspective.
I had applied to the Arnold in Columbus, but did not get in this year. I realize now that it was for the best, as I needed more time to let my body recover from all the shows I did last year. So I applied for the Arnold in BRAZIL instead. Nothing like upping the ante.
I am going to Brazil.
Luckily and most thankfully I was invited.
To be apart of the first ever Arnold in Brazil is truly an honour, and I am very motivated to start this prep. I have given my body some good rest, lots of food, and kept up with my routine skills. So after a bit of a break, I am in a great place to start this prep. It is less than 9 weeks away, and I am though my first week of prep. No so bad, but ask me 3 weeks out and I will probably have a different opinion towards the process.
I think it is best that there are not many shows in fitness this year, as I would want to do them all. I just enjoy being around the girls – something I express many times throughout the competition blog. They are as insane as I am [in a good way of course], they love being physical and challenge themselves. However, this year, I am giving much more time to my family as well. There are not many shows being offered, yet, I am sure there will be a good attendance, as those who choose fitness are around longer than those who choose bikini or figure.
So if you can choose fitness – do so. Our community is small and very supportive of each other. In Canada the numbers are very low, and in most provinces you don’t even have to do provincials, and you can go right to Nationals, as some have done away with the fitness division altogether. Sometimes some shows will waive the entry fee if you are doing fitness, in order to help support the divisions dwindling numbers. Everyone comments on how exciting, and fun fitness is to watch, yet, very few choose to do fitness, even though they are capable.
In the interest of saving fitness, I will be doing videos on various fitness routine skills. Even though you are not competing, many show interest in learning the fitness skills we do in the routine. It presents as a new challenge, and can bring a new spark to your training.
So between now, and the end of April, I will be involved in every minute of my prep. Not just passively going through the motions. The mind plays the strongest role. My goal is to come in looking as lean as I can. A shape that I am proud of. I realize I don’t have the muscle that some of the other girls have. And I am ok with that. I like my body. Actually the past couple of months, I have been more content in my own skin than I have ever been. I don’t feel deprived in my diet. I generally eat whatever I want.
Competing is one day on the stage, the other 364 days of the year, I am very happy in my body.
So here is my start point:
Yes, I have work to do. But I am up for it.
Routine is going well. I am already at front half/back half. I am very lucky as I have not had any injuries. I listen to my body, and whenever there are any twinges, or instances in which something feels off, or I am severely lacking in energy that day. I stop. I do have sciatica that acts up every now and again, but I only got that after being pregnant, or now, if I sit too long. I do find that I need more warm-up than before. Like 20-30 minutes before I even consider running the routine. My recovery longer now, and I have to listen or else my body would break down. This means more days off than before. I used to be able to work my body into the ground and still recover. Those days are gone. I am smarter about my training, and know that rest/recovery is part of the plan.
For me, at this point in my career, being able to continue to compete, after all these years, in a foreign country, is a dream.
We miss 100% of the shots we don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky
A.
Aside: There are times when I am upset after competing, and I immediately put those thoughts here in the blog – as I always have. I share many parts of myself – the disappointments, the exciting news, and random thoughts. These are my thoughts and emotions that I am going through in that moment. I am fully aware that with time those thoughts will change, but in the moment, that is how I feel. It is not to be read into further. We all have rotten days – and for me with competing, or venting, or expressing those feelings, means, well that I am normal. I work hard, I train hard, I expect a lot of myself. Most who compete share very similar personality types and a strong work ethic.
Whatever the outcome, positive or negative, there are always feelings/emotions that you feel and I am here to say that is ok. I get it. I have been there. Every show is different. Every prep is different. I share to help those who compete, and perhaps validate your feelings/thoughts, as I know there are those out there who at times feel the same way. Sometimes after the show can be harder to deal with than the actual prep and anticipation of the show.
There are years of blogging about the various shows I have competed in over the past 7 years. You are welcome to browse and read through.
