Toronto Pro Supershow 2012 – Update April 2012

Hi Everyone-

Where here we are approximately 51 days from the Toronto pro.  I am looking forward to this show as the weather is always very nice in the downtown in June, and I love being able to walk and get my coffee in the morning. It is a nice change of pace from my everyday as I have to drive everywhere.

I would have loved to do the Pittsburg show on May 5^th, but that weekend is my son’s birthday, and I just feel that putting my family first is the right thing to do.  I can watch this one from the sidelines, and just put all my energy into Toronto Pro in June.

If life wants me to be at the Olympia as much as I do, it will happen.  I have faith in that.

For the last 3 weeks after the St. Louis pro I have not been on track with my diet. I always have my base diet – which I will blog about in a future post – but have been adding extras – like chocolate.  I have to admit it has been more than I should be eating.

What not to do after a show.

Post show, I always allows myself 2-3 days of eating whatever I feel like.  This year I have been dieting basically the entire winter season, so I can see why my body feels like it needs the extra calories. I have been over the top hungry when I go back to my base diet, so I fill the void not with good food, but sinful sugary foods that I know I will not be eating when I get back to my competition/regular diet which basically started yesterday.

For the first few days after eating sugary foods, I am hungry, and cranky, and very moody.  During the prep this year, I was never hungry (hunger near the end got a little tough but digress), my emotions were in check, and I never felt the urge to eat in excess.  Post show this time I have been doing been borderline binge eating – and I rationally know this is not a good thing – especially if it continues into a second week, third week, and now well I am ready to be back on track.    This ‘break’ was needed, and I feel that when the body is ready to stop dieting it will tell you.  You do have to listen and see if it is just emotional eating, or truly hunger.

The thing I would like to address is the focus I had on sugar – how it plays or played with my emotions.  The day after eating chocolate,  I always wanted more.  I knew that if I ate more I would feel better. But then the cycle would continue.  I have been trying to think about my emotions, and why do I feel this way physically after I eat sugar.

Then 60 minutes came out with this report:

Sugar Toxic? - Click on Image

I think it explains a lot. Sure I have more variable that regular people to contend with  – such as the fact that I am competing, and my body fat is low, so my body might need the calories, as I have been what some would say severely dieting for an extended period of time.   But my body does not need these types of calories, as good food will do.  Emotionally I do not need this food, yet, after having eaten it, and desire it more.

I basically created a situation where I have cravings when before, if I did not eat it I don’t have any cravings.

So I know and realize for me eating sugar can lead to an addiction.  It creates binge-eating tendencies for me, such that emotionally I am unstable until I eat more.   I don’t like when I am in that space.  I don’t like how I feel after I eat it – heart palpations, moodiness, and eventually a sugar crash.

Just because I know what to do, does not make doing it any easier.

I recognize now that I have always had borderline binge-eating tendencies, but I was so active that it never showed on my body.  I was athletic, and moving all the time.    I live my life on the extreme ends of the bell curve.

 As much as I can restrict myself with food, to get into a great shape; I can equally pack it away when the time comes. 

Being on a diet is actually easier for me.  I get this amount of food, I only eat these foods – I know the diet works, and I know what the outcome if going to be. I trust the process as I have been through it before.

It is NOT being on a diet that scares me. Especially when I have to travel to pleasure; that stresses me out.  I am not sure I am going to be able to eat the way I want to eat.  Carbs are everywhere.  Foods are high in fat.  It is socially acceptable to binge eat.  Go to a restaurant – you order an appetizer, main course, and dessert.  If you were to do this at home this is considered a binge. Certainly this is too much food, if you have physique goals in mind.  I am not referring to a refeed, or simple a cheat meal.

If I stopped competing all together, these binge-eating tendencies subside.  I am at a normal weight, and eat to live.  I have positive off seasons, at a regular weight, and regular eating habits, with my base foods in my diet.   Many individuals always comment on how I am in ‘great shape’ even in the off-season. Being a personal trainer is a good deterrent, as my body is my billboard.

I am thinking that the low body fat, contributes to my binge eating, and my will power becomes over taxed, can and does eventually run out.

This is all a work in progress for me, and I am trying to understand why at times I like to ‘punish’ or ‘reward’ myself with food.  My experience is that many women, (and men) do this.   I always work hard in the gym, and never stopped training, but there are times when I like to sit in front of the TV and eat whatever, and how much I want.

If you are unhappy with what you see in the mirror you have to make changes in order to help you achieve what you want.  Competing in a show, the diet and preparations are generally very similar to general population who would like to lose a few pounds for themselves, special event, or just get back to a place where they feel comfortable.

I do have some strategies that I implement in order to get ‘back on track’ immediately so that I can start feeling good in my own skin again.  A future post on ‘strategies to getting back on track’ to follow.

For instance – this blog is a strategy – If my hands are writing and I am thinking about what I am writing, I am not putting food in my mouth, hard to type, and not get crumbs on your computer at the same time.  Although I am sure it is possible, I am just not willing to ruin my computer.

So for the next 8 weeks, I will be getting myself my ‘best shape ever’ ( I just say that as that is what every one else says right?), and get to visit T. and have a good time with the other fitness gals.  Being in shape in the summer is truly the best feeling, and I willing to sacrifice my chocolate binge eating habit in order to get there.

The food never tastes as good as being in shape feels.

 A.