Hi Everyone-
This week I am in Winnipeg visiting family. Actually between Winnipeg and West Hawk lake. I took some pictures and I will share later. Monday I go back to school, and well on Thursday I am off to Cleveland for the North Americans. Needless to say I have a lot of things to do before I am off again.
I have never been to Cleveland or to the North Americans show promoted by Gary Udit, but have heard only good things. I am so glad they decided to offer a fitness division this year. And another crack at a Pro card. With athletes coming from Canada, USA and Mexico – the competition I am sure will be fierce!
It will be wonderful to see so many familiar faces, and of course meet some new ones. At CBBF Nationals this year I met so many wonderful gals – mostly in the fitness division as we were all back stage at the same time. The figure gals, and bikini gals I did meet, but there are so many and we are all on at different times that it is tough to get to know them all. I did meet a few in the Keg restaurant after the show. It is the tan gives us all away. 😉
There are times when I am posting things, questions, comments or ideas that perhaps does not sit well with some. Or they might read into what I am writing and then send it to someone else and say hey, “I think she is talking about you”. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Someone trying to create drama.
Funny, if something is perceived as negative it spreads like wildfire, but yet, has anyone ever emailed someone I specifically wrote about and told them – “Hey, Allison said some really nice things about you on her blog – read this”?
My thoughts, are just that – thoughts. They roll around in my head and the best way I know to get rid of them is to write them down. Often they keep me up at night. Insomnia. Writing in this blog is therapy for me. Training is also therapy. Even if I was not a fitness competitor I would still train. My mind would not be so preoccupied with the show, but I would train everyday, and have a good time at the gym. Training and writing help calm my mind.
Maybe being so open with my emotions in a public form is not a good idea? I guess I will have to look at the benefits vs the negatives to keeping the blog going. The goal was always to help others who want to or consider competing in shows and give them a perspective through my own experiences. I only wanted to motivate through personal reflection, validate others experiences, and allow discussions to be had through questions/comments. This is only one point of view.
Was I upset about the CBBF National result? Sure. Sad – yes. For a moment. But you get over it. You spend so much time and energy preparing for a show, and well, (and I think I have mentioned this before in previous posts) — I am entitled to my feelings. I allow myself to vent, or whatever I need in that moment, and within a few days I accept the outcome. I am an emotional human being, and sometimes very impulsive, and need time to process things. Being a bridesmaid all year was just not the plan. When I play I always go for the win. Anything less and the result is unacceptable – for me. I set my expectations very high. This is just me and my personality. It has nothing to do with the other girls competing in the show. In no way do I carry it to another event or show. Give me a few days to regroup and I am ok.
But here is my question to you:
What do you do? After you competed, and then have the result and it is not what you wanted, what do you do? Eat? Of course. But after that what you do really tell yourself to make all the work and sacrifice palatable? How do you deal? Do you ask the judges for feedback? Who do you turn to for guidance, and support? What do you do to make it work? To move yourself forward? I welcome your thoughts.
Many have written and reminded me how accomplished I am. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This does help put things in perspective. I am continuously working on my perspective. A positive, more upbeat perspective. I am 2nd. Yes this is very close to be first. 2nd in the short class in the country.
I love competing in fitness as I control most of what I do, but the part that I don’t control is the outcome. My emotions I need time to process the situation and then I move forward. I have moved forward, and after I post this consider it moving forward.
I know eventually I will get a chance to be an IFBB Fitness Pro. I feel that I could learn way more, and grow more as an athlete by competing in the Pro ranks, than spending another year as an amateur. The good thing is that there are always more shows around the corner. I am young and do have time to achieve this goal.
Next up for me is the North Americans on August 27th to the 30th. In about a week, I will be competing in Cleveland. This could be the last show for me for a while, so I am making it count.
Tomorrow is always a new day to do better.
A.
Brit-Man
Well you maybe gleaned quite a bit about how I feel, from a recent e-mail, but you already know my feelings about you, as you've known for some years now.
What you do in a situation, where you haven't gotten the result you want? In your case you remind yourself that winning isn't everything, that you're still a highly accomplished champion and it's not necessarily about being remembered, 30 years after you stop competing, but about how much you gave and did.
You tell yourself no matter what happens, you have a family that think a lot of you, and a lot in life to be proud of. Including the person you are today, a person who is a warm-hearted, inspirational person and a true Lady.
Your past is something incredibly noteworthy, and something to be looked at and used to inspire people, to any kind of sporting potential.
You can always be proud of what you've done, and in any sport, nobody wins every time, and there is no disgrace in losing, when you give your all, and there shouldn't be any moments you look back on and feel shame, or like you let yourself down.
As for the blog, never let anyone make you feel bad for it. Whatever you say, is enitrely your right, and nobody has a right to predjudice your chances, or affect potential results, bacause of it.
You're not calling an organisation or officials rude names, or saying some other stage athletes are xyz people you detest, you're being honest about your whole life and it's nobodies right to make you feel like you can't express yourself, or tell people how you're feeling.
You deserve the extra support from people who've seen the progress, and understand what sort of Athlete, mother and Lady you are today.
I daresay some who have websites with member sections, write blogs possibly a lot more controversial than this, knowing some judges and officials, won't spend maybe upto $20 a month, just to read about an organisation, getting punked a bit for certain reasons.
I think there's too much stigma sometimes, about what people can say, as if being in any sporting organisation, means towing a line and it's dictatorial to say you can't cast aspertions on a governing body, or organisation, when they affect your very future, money and associated opportunities, if they meddle in a competitive process, because they're too weak to take a little critique, instead of maybe asking themselves why someone in their sport feels like that, and if it's done to affect positive change, or just a person grouching, when something didn't happen how they wanted it to.
So this is said out of upmost respect and politeness, but don't even think of removing your blog. It's your chance to have free speech, and show anyone willing to take notice, how you feel.
You're still a fantastic champion and a brilliant person, regards your attitude to yourself, life and other people.
Your just need to focus on your competitive future, keeping on track with work, and giving your family and especially your Son, what you already give emotionally.
Your time can still come, and you're nowhere near a spent force, nor should you ever feel like that, so chin up, keep pushing, best wishes and good luck.
Whatever you do, you always, turn out a truly beautiful and artistic profile, at every show you do, and recent pictures support that comment and all things you do in life, and have done in your career are what matter most right now.
So try to look at things positively, and keep believing in yourself and your ability. If you walk out on stage, looking like you always do, and give 100%, you can't expect more than that, and it's understandable sometimes when you are a bit hard on yourself, because you've been so successful, but I've felt for some time, you need to cut yourself a bit of slack, and try not to do things, that take the edge of a really good performance or your history.
So don't be afraid to question things, as long as the answers are positive. Just keep being true to yourself, and that's all you can ask.
🙂 :-).
Matt
Ali
Hi A,
I wish I had found your blog long ago as I was always a fan, always watched your routines and always thought you'd be a Pro someday (and in my opinion should be now). But anyway I see your point on the openness of a blog and I think it does expose us and I have trouble being as open in mine and give you credit. I just hope that other people taking things you write, your thoughts, and misconstruing them and sharing them does not keep you from this because there is so much to learn from your writings… you are good at it girl. As a future fitness competitor and just a person who loves to work out too (and write), I applaud your honesty, integerity in the sport, and sheer talent. Keep doing it, don't give up and remember that you are a star to so many already, Pro title or not.
Alison
Red
Just heard the results – congratulations!