8 days….

Ok, so here we go. The final big push. I have been struggling lately with motivation. Not sure it is because the end is in sight, or that the end is really in sight…..;)

I have been busy with various family activities over the past week. For one, we bought a new house, and sold our old one. We put our house on the market on a Wed, and by Sat we had 4 offers. About 5 days later I was signing the papers for sell out house. This is a big change for me. I remember moving into this house, and it was during preparations for a show. The move was from an apartment to a house, so, we did not have a lot of stuff. Now that we have a house, and a kid, well I just hope I don’t get as stressed out about the whole situation like I did last time.

This past weekend a family member got married. Yes, I did it – went to a wedding, ate my ‘diet food’ and survived. It was a good time to be able to go back home and have some good weather. (unlike the vacation where it rained everyday). I even managed to go out one night with the girls and get home very early am. No drinking. No cheating. They were all drinking beer and margaritas and well I had my eggs, chicken, asparagus and some cottage cheese. Oh, and lots of water. I was glad I did go out as normally I would have stayed home. My life needs to be lived, and well if I am going to compete, I have to be able to do both.

This week, I have family visiting from various places. So the house is a buzz. I think it is great to have them around, as then I am always thinking about them and not myself. As long as I get my training in, and go to bed at a reasonable hour, things remain good.

School will be starting in about 2 weeks. My attempts to stay in the math department, and convince my principal it is the best choice for my family and for the department, have failed. I am more than 99% sure, I will getting the new workload. My compliance should never be confused with acceptance. I think this a move that is not in my best interest, and because I want to put my family first – I get the leftovers for workload. Funny, a woman who puts her family first in the traditional sense, and try to contribute to society by having a part time job just does not seem to be acceptable. I am in the business of education for Pete’s sake. You would think they would be a little more accommodating? My new schedule does not allow for me to keep my son home some days from daycare. I am teaching everyday – even if it is just one class and well, my son has a schedule too, so he has to go to daycare, everyday. I will see what I will do in August. The most frustrating part is that I have to clean out my classroom. Do you know how much stuff a teacher accumulates? I swear, we are all pack rats by nature.

In other news, I am competing in 8 days. Or leaving for Vancouver in 8 days. I cannot wait to eat! I am so craving, and oogling the TV commercials lately. Different foods, such as ice cream (which I would never eat), hamburgers, nachos, fries – all the really bad foods. I know it is because I cannot have it now.

I took pictures yesterday, and well I feel really fat. Not phat; fat. I think that I have gained muscle, but I am not sure of what is going on. All my clothes are loose like usual, but the scale has not really gone down. I remember a time when this has happened – back when I was training in 2007. I started at 120lbs, and ended at 120lbs when the diet was all over. Perhaps it is possible to go in 2 directions at once: gain muscle, and lose fat? I am not as lean as I was for the Arnold- but am ‘fuller’ as they say. To me, that just is a loose term to mean – fat. Others would disagree but what else can I say? I like being small, tight and little. I just hope the judges appreciate, and reward my ‘new’ look.

I still have 8 days and a lot of things can change between now and then. Today I am off to practice my routine — which I have to say is going really well. I enjoy this routine, and think it is a better reflection of me.

Until Vancouver, I leave with this…

With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.
~Thomas Foxwell Buxton

Talk soon,

A.